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Meta gets sued for AI monopoly (again)

Editorial Team
·

📖7 min read

Cover image for Meta gets sued for AI monopoly (again)

🚫 Italy Just Told Meta to Stop Being a Monopoly (Shocking, I Know)

  • Italy's antitrust authority just FORCED Meta to let ChatGPT, Claude, and other AI chatbots onto WhatsApp. The EU is also investigating because of course they are.

  • WhatsApp might actually become useful?? Meta's walled garden just got bulldozed by Italian regulators who apparently still remember what competition looks like. (source)

📚 Authors Sue Everyone, Reject $3,000 "Shut Up" Money

  • John Carreyrou (the guy who exposed Theranos) and other writers are suing literally every AI company for training on pirated books. They called the proposed $3,000 settlement "bargain-basement rates" (they're not wrong).

  • This could cost AI companies BILLIONS if authors win. Turns out "we scraped the entire internet" isn't a legal defense. Who knew?? (source)

🎯 25,000 People Want to Fix Government With AI (Good Luck)

  • Trump's "Tech Force" got 25,000 applications for just 1,000 spots. Engineers will spend two years trying to modernize agencies that still use fax machines.

  • The same administration that wanted to shrink government is now desperately hiring AI talent. The irony is chef's kiss 🤌 (source)

📈 Wall Street Needs "Everything Firing on All Cylinders" for 2026

  • Analysts say the S&P 500 needs a miracle for another double-digit gain after three years of 10%+ returns. Corporate earnings projected up 15% but only if AI actually... works??

  • The entire market is betting on $600 BILLION in AI spending actually doing something useful. No pressure!! (source)

🏓 Data Centers → Pickleball Courts Pipeline Is Real

  • Someone wrote a satirical piece about converting empty data centers into pickleball courts when the AI bubble bursts. Construction is up EIGHTFOLD since 2019. Even Zuck thinks it's too much.

  • We're building the shopping mall ghost towns of 2030 but with more GPUs. At least pickleball is fun?? (source)

🍎 Apple's AI Chief Retires, Musical Chairs Ensue

  • John Giannandrea is out, some ex-Google guy is in, and Tim Cook is apparently grooming his replacement. It's like succession but with more neural networks.

  • Apple is panic-restructuring for the AI era while everyone else is already there. Better late than never I guess :/ (source)

📊 Scientists Publishing 50% More Papers (Thanks ChatGPT)

  • Researchers using LLMs are cranking out papers 30-50% faster. But journals are rejecting them more because smooth writing = sus now.

  • AI democratized scientific publishing AND ruined it simultaneously. We love efficiency!! (source)

🇨🇳 Chinese AI Unicorn MiniMax Going Public (Worth 1/100th of OpenAI)

  • MiniMax plans Hong Kong IPO despite being valued at basically pocket change compared to US competitors. They make 70% of revenue overseas though, so... respect??

  • Tests if investors believe Chinese AI can compete globally or if it's just Wish.com OpenAI. (source)

💅 Marissa Mayer's Back With Another Startup Nobody Asked For

  • Ex-Yahoo CEO shut down her last startup to launch "Dazzle" - an AI assistant that raised $8M at $35M valuation. Because what we need is MORE AI assistants.

  • Consumer AI is having its "moment" apparently. The same moment we've been having since 2022 but whatever!! (source)

🏠 AI Disrupts Architects (They Had It Coming)

  • Startup "Drafted" generates custom home designs in minutes for $2,000. Used to cost $20,000 and take weeks. RIP architecture degrees.

  • AI is speedrunning the destruction of every professional service. Lawyers, you're next 👀 (source)

🎭 Fake AI Profile Blamed Sydney Attack on "David Cohen from Israel"

  • Someone used AI to generate a fake Facebook profile to spread disinfo about a beach shooting. Google's SynthID caught it with hidden watermarks (finally, a use case!!).

  • AI-powered disinformation during breaking news is the dystopia we ordered. Thanks, I hate it. (source)

🎅 NORAD's Santa Tracker Now Has ChatGPT (Because Why Not)

  • Santa tracking includes AI selfie-to-elf transformations and personalized story generators. Even Christmas isn't safe from the AI takeover.

  • We've reached peak AI saturation when SANTA needs machine learning. The elves are probably GPUs now. (source)

Until tomorrow (unless the data centers become pickleball courts),
Team Galaxy.ai

P.S. If you're one of the 25,000 people who applied to modernize the government with AI, maybe start by teaching them what a PDF is.

P.P.S. Italy forcing Meta to open WhatsApp is giving "mom made you share your toys" energy and honestly?? We love to see it.

Fireship Snackers Style Version:

Subject Line: Meta gets sued for AI monopoly (again)

Subject Preview Line: Italy forces WhatsApp open, 25,000 nerds apply for Trump jobs, data centers become pickleball courts, and Santa uses ChatGPT now.

🚫 Italy Just Told Meta to Stop Being a Monopoly (Shocking, I Know)

  • Italy's antitrust authority just FORCED Meta to let ChatGPT, Claude, and other AI chatbots onto WhatsApp. The EU is also investigating because of course they are.

  • WhatsApp might actually become useful?? Meta's walled garden just got bulldozed by Italian regulators who apparently still remember what competition looks like.

📚 Authors Sue Everyone, Reject $3,000 "Shut Up" Money

  • John Carreyrou (the guy who exposed Theranos) and other writers are suing literally every AI company for training on pirated books. They called the proposed $3,000 settlement "bargain-basement rates" (they're not wrong).

  • This could cost AI companies BILLIONS if authors win. Turns out "we scraped the entire internet" isn't a legal defense. Who knew??

🎯 25,000 People Want to Fix Government With AI (Good Luck)

  • Trump's "Tech Force" got 25,000 applications for just 1,000 spots. Engineers will spend two years trying to modernize agencies that still use fax machines.

  • The same administration that wanted to shrink government is now desperately hiring AI talent. The irony is chef's kiss 🤌

📈 Wall Street Needs "Everything Firing on All Cylinders" for 2026

  • Analysts say the S&P 500 needs a miracle for another double-digit gain after three years of 10%+ returns. Corporate earnings projected up 15% but only if AI actually... works??

  • The entire market is betting on $600 BILLION in AI spending actually doing something useful. No pressure!!

🏓 Data Centers → Pickleball Courts Pipeline Is Real

  • Someone wrote a satirical piece about converting empty data centers into pickleball courts when the AI bubble bursts. Construction is up EIGHTFOLD since 2019. Even Zuck thinks it's too much.

  • We're building the shopping mall ghost towns of 2030 but with more GPUs. At least pickleball is fun??

🍎 Apple's AI Chief Retires, Musical Chairs Ensue

  • John Giannandrea is out, some ex-Google guy is in, and Tim Cook is apparently grooming his replacement. It's like succession but with more neural networks.

  • Apple is panic-restructuring for the AI era while everyone else is already there. Better late than never I guess :/

📊 Scientists Publishing 50% More Papers (Thanks ChatGPT)

  • Researchers using LLMs are cranking out papers 30-50% faster. But journals are rejecting them more because smooth writing = sus now.

  • AI democratized scientific publishing AND ruined it simultaneously. We love efficiency!!

🇨🇳 Chinese AI Unicorn MiniMax Going Public (Worth 1/100th of OpenAI)

  • MiniMax plans Hong Kong IPO despite being valued at basically pocket change compared to US competitors. They make 70% of revenue overseas though, so... respect??

  • Tests if investors believe Chinese AI can compete globally or if it's just Wish.com OpenAI.

💅 Marissa Mayer's Back With Another Startup Nobody Asked For

  • Ex-Yahoo CEO shut down her last startup to launch "Dazzle" - an AI assistant that raised $8M at $35M valuation. Because what we need is MORE AI assistants.

  • Consumer AI is having its "moment" apparently. The same moment we've been having since 2022 but whatever!!

🏠 AI Disrupts Architects (They Had It Coming)

  • Startup "Drafted" generates custom home designs in minutes for $2,000. Used to cost $20,000 and take weeks. RIP architecture degrees.

  • AI is speedrunning the destruction of every professional service. Lawyers, you're next 👀

🎭 Fake AI Profile Blamed Sydney Attack on "David Cohen from Israel"

  • Someone used AI to generate a fake Facebook profile to spread disinfo about a beach shooting. Google's SynthID caught it with hidden watermarks (finally, a use case!!).

  • AI-powered disinformation during breaking news is the dystopia we ordered. Thanks, I hate it.

🎅 NORAD's Santa Tracker Now Has ChatGPT (Because Why Not)

  • Santa tracking includes AI selfie-to-elf transformations and personalized story generators. Even Christmas isn't safe from the AI takeover.

  • We've reached peak AI saturation when SANTA needs machine learning. The elves are probably GPUs now.