Premature ejaculation is not about hypersensitivity but about controlling your body and mind. This article explains the three root causes: imbalanced pelvic floor muscles, mental state including performance anxiety, and conditioning from rapid masturbation. It offers natural solutions like pelvic floor exercises, mental relaxation techniques, and practical tips for immediate control during sex.
Do you want to last longer in bed? Whether you climax within a minute or even before you get it out of your pants, this guide will show you how to fix premature ejaculation naturally. You can have an amazing sex life and never worry about premature ejaculation again, all while still enjoying the experience fully. This means no pills, no thinking about irrelevant distractions, and no desensitizing creams.
My name is Sterling Cooper. I'm an award-winning adult film star and bedroom coach. Over the last six years, I've helped thousands of men overcome this exact problem.
Many men define premature ejaculation as ejaculating before a certain number of minutes. However, this definition is not very useful because it doesn't address the core issue: control. I define premature ejaculation simply as coming before you want to. This article is about gaining full control over your ejaculation, not just adding a few minutes.
Contrary to popular belief, premature ejaculation is not caused by hypersensitivity. We all have roughly the same number of nerve endings in the genital area, and the hypersensitivity theory is not scientifically proven. The real issue is learning to control your body better.
There are three root causes of premature ejaculation:
Your pelvic floor is a hammock-like series of muscles underneath the groin region. These muscles contract during orgasm to push semen out of the penis. An imbalanced pelvic floor means you have no control over these muscles, and thus no control over ejaculation.
Scientific studies show that pelvic floor rehabilitation is a promising and viable treatment for premature ejaculation, far superior to drugs like SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) commonly prescribed for this condition.
Many men have pelvic floors that are constantly tight and overactive without knowing how to relax them. If these muscles are tight from the start, you are essentially "preloading the gun," making it no surprise that you finish quickly when aroused.
Your mind and body are connected. Stress, anxiety, and depression cause tension buildup in the pelvic floor. Performance anxiety is a very common cause of premature ejaculation. If you constantly worry about finishing too soon, this anxiety causes pelvic floor tension, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If you finish quickly, you likely masturbate rapidly, trying to finish as fast as possible. This trains your body to respond to arousal by tensing the pelvic floor too quickly, leading to a quick finish. This is Pavlovian conditioning, where your muscle memory triggers rapid ejaculation.
These are poor solutions because numbing creams can rub off on your partner, reducing sensation for both of you and ruining the experience. Thick condoms also reduce sensation. These methods deprive you of enjoying full touch and sensation.
SSRIs reduce your excited state and pelvic floor tension but also tank your sex drive. Long-term use can lead to drug resistance and dependence on pills for sex, which is not ideal.
The point of no return is when any more stimulation will inevitably lead to ejaculation. Becoming aware of this point is crucial for managing arousal.
You can discover this through edging — masturbating but stopping before climax. Get close to the point of no return, then stop and let yourself calm down. Repeat this several times over days or weeks without using porn or erotic material to avoid distraction. This helps you tune into your body's signals.
A reverse Kegel is the opposite of a regular Kegel. Imagine pushing urine out as fast as possible — that pushing sensation is a reverse Kegel.
Practice this regularly to release tension stored in your pelvic floor. A simple way to do this is to pee as fast as you can once a day, which helps relax these muscles.
A strong pelvic floor is essential for control. If your pelvic floor is weak, tension builds uncontrollably during arousal.
To do a Kegel, stop your urine midstream. That contraction is a Kegel. Aim for 50 quick contractions daily, such as while showering or standing in line. Once comfortable, add holds of about 3 seconds each.
Avoid overdoing it to prevent cramps.
Performance anxiety is a major factor. Meditation is an excellent way to calm your mind and reduce anxiety. You don't need hours; a few minutes daily can help you become more peaceful, calm, focused, and present during sex.
If new to meditation, consider guided apps like Headspace.
Another helpful practice is grounding — walking barefoot on natural surfaces like grass or soil. This scientifically proven method reduces stress hormones (cortisol) and anxiety.
Try walking barefoot outside for 10-15 minutes daily, preferably in the morning with sunlight exposure to boost mood and physical activity.
Sitting all day weakens the pelvic floor muscles. Regular movement and outdoor activity help maintain pelvic floor strength and overall health.
While long-term solutions take weeks, here are quick tricks used in the adult film industry:
Begin sex with positions that are less stimulating for you. For example, if doggy style excites you most, don't start with it. The first 5 minutes are the most critical when excitement is highest.
Positions like the facing pretzel (sitting cross-legged with your partner on your lap) allow intimacy with less intense stimulation.
When close to orgasm, create a gentle bend in the penis by pressing down at the base and up near the head, similar to kinking a hose to stop water flow. This interrupts nerve signals and helps regain control.
This does not hurt or damage the penis if done gently.
Many men hold their breath or breathe shallowly when nearing climax, increasing pelvic floor tension and accelerating orgasm.
Practice deep belly breathing: inhale for 6 seconds, exhale for 6 seconds, expanding your stomach rather than your chest. This relaxes the pelvic floor and reduces sensitivity.
By addressing the root causes — pelvic floor imbalance, mental state, and conditioning — you can naturally gain control over ejaculation. Long-term commitment to these exercises and mental practices will show significant improvement in weeks.
For a comprehensive approach, I wrote a book called Preventing Premature Ejaculation, detailing a 4-week reconditioning routine to fix these root causes.
Once you have control, the next step is to focus on giving your partner the best sexual experience. As someone with nearly a decade of professional experience, I have insights to share on satisfying your partner's deepest desires.
Stay tuned for more guidance on enhancing intimacy and pleasure for both you and your partner.
